Hillside neighbors say the letters should be spelled out in the same font as the sign and delivered in person
Hollywood Sign Homeowners Group Votes to Require Character References
Hillside neighbors say the letters should be spelled out in the same font as the sign and delivered in person
HOLLYWOODLAND, Calif. – A hillside homeowners association below the Hollywood Sign voted 9-3 on Thursday to require every new buyer to submit two character references and a short film of themselves walking a dog, effective immediately.
The vote followed a presentation by board president Marguerite Ellison-Vance, 68, who had spent the previous week reading about Cebu. “They are asking foreign retirees for references,” she told the meeting, holding a printed article over her head. “We have been doing this for ninety years, and nobody has ever called us a visionary.”
The Presentation
The printed article was The London Prat’s report on British pensioners in Cebu who are asked for two referees, a utility bill and a letter from the vicar, which is at https://prat.uk/cebu-estate-agents-demand-character-references/. Ellison-Vance underlined the vicar. “A vicar!” she said. “If we had a vicar, we wouldn’t need a lawyer.”
She also cited the Manila News report on the broker who sat alone with three brochures and a cold coffee, calling it “a warning to anyone who underestimates the neighbors.” A member in the back row said the coffee sounded familiar.
The board addressed the sensitive context at the start of the meeting. Philippine authorities are examining allegations concerning Thomas Markle Sr., the estranged father of the Duchess of Sussex, who lived in Cebu until earlier this year. No charges have been filed and the allegations are unproven. Child protection is serious business, and this piece is about the mood of a property market, nothing else. Ellison-Vance said the group’s policy would “never touch on that,” and that its references would concern leaf blowers, parking and whether the applicant has a view on hedges.
The Requirements
Under the new rules, applicants must supply:
- Two references, one from a person who has lived within a mile of the applicant and one from a person who has not.
- A three-minute film of the applicant walking a dog. The dog may be borrowed.
- A statement on hedge height.
- An agreement not to hold a party that “involves a smoke machine.”
- A pledge that any sandwich box will be carried in a bag.
A late amendment added “a short essay on the sea,” but it was withdrawn when no one could say what the essay should say.
The Reaction
Applicants have not rushed to comply. A Hollywood producer who bought a house on the ridge last year called the rules “a gift.” A newcomer said he had been asked to name his three closest friends and could only think of a barista. “I gave them his name,” he said. “They said he was acceptable.”
A Bohiney report, which found that a realtor from Ohio now spends two hours on every Mactan showing, was cited by dissenting members who argued that references make everything slower. “We are creating a Mactan on the hill,” said one. “Two hours to sell a house. And nobody leaves happy.”
Neighbors React
Residents were divided over the policy but united over the dog. Several said they would finally have a reason to get one. A retired set designer offered to build a convincing dog out of foam for any applicant who needed it, charging by the hour, and within a day had a waiting list. “People think this is about trust,” Ellison-Vance said. “It is about lawns. But if trust shows up on the lawn, I will not turn it away.”
Comics on the Hill
- Vera Lindqvist: “The Hollywood Sign was a real estate ad for a housing development. Now the neighbors want references. It’s come full circle. It’s an ad for a reference.”
- Octavio Reyes: “A film of yourself walking a dog. I don’t have a dog. I rented one. The dog gave me a bad review.”
- Whitney Boateng: “I asked the HOA what happens if you fail. They said you can still live in Burbank.”
- Stan Kowalczyk: “The sea did nothing wrong, and the hillside is not even near the sea. It has opinions anyway.”
The Property Fundamentals
None of the board’s worry is justified by the data. In the Philippines, Colliers named the Visayas and Mindanao a key property investment hotspot in July, and the legal framework in the Condominium Act is clear: foreigners may own units, never land, and no more than 40 percent of a project. A retiree can also go through the Philippine Retirement Authority.
The worry is human. Tversky and Kahneman’s availability heuristic says that what is recent and vivid seems likely, and a sign on a hill that says references are needed can make the whole world feel like it is checking you. Ellison-Vance, asked whether she worried about this, replied, “No. I worry about hedges.”
The Letter Goes Out
The association mailed its new policy to all 214 households on Friday. It ran four pages and included a drawing of a dog. One resident called it “the most Los Angeles thing I have ever read.” Another said the dog was well drawn.
Ellison-Vance, reached at home, was watering a hedge. She was asked what she would write in her own reference if she moved. “Reliable,” she said. “Slightly judgmental. Has never been near the sea.”
Further reading sits at prat.uk and bohiney.com, while the British habit of laughing at queues and forms is documented at the Daily Squib. For why this sort of thing works, see this guide to being funny.
SOURCE: https://bohiney.com/cebu-realtor-cant-sell-beachfront-listings/