Fifty years after the Anarchy tour, Steve Jones, Paul Cook and Glen Matlock are back with Frank Carter, and I have opinions and a rent bill
Dear Diary: The Sex Pistols Are Playing Brixton and the Apollo, and My Mum Wants a Ticket
Fifty years after the Anarchy tour, Steve Jones, Paul Cook and Glen Matlock are back with Frank Carter, and I have opinions and a rent bill
By Siobhan O'Donnell, London punk rocker and diarist
Monday, Late, Kitchen Floor
Dear diary, I have been sitting on the kitchen lino since midnight, because the news has come in and my legs have gone. According to Official Charts, the Sex Pistols are playing two London shows this December: O2 Academy Brixton on Friday 18 December and the Eventim Apollo on Sunday 20 December. The line-up is Steve Jones, Paul Cook and Glen Matlock, joined by Frank Carter of Frank Carter and The Rattlesnakes.
Yes, I know. No Johnny Rotten. I have read the comments underneath, all four hundred of them, and I want it noted for the record that I read them with a cup of tea and a very steady hand. I will return to this.
The Whole Run
For the record, because I am a professional, the same article lists the rest of the December dates: Dublin’s 3 Arena on Monday 7 December, the Corn Exchange in Edinburgh on Wednesday 9 December and the O2 Academy in Glasgow on Thursday 10 December. Kerrang reports the same five dates and says the run marks 50 years of punk. The band previously announced summer headline shows running from 11 July to 2 August, according to Official Charts, so this is a second helping.
Tickets went on general sale on Friday 27 February at 9am. I know this because I was on a laptop at 8.58am, in my pyjamas, while my flatmate Gaz held the router like a man defusing a bomb.
What Paul Cook Said
Paul Cook is quoted by Official Charts: “People want to come and see us play live. If I must say so myself, we are a great live band!” I have thought about this sentence a great deal. It is the least punk sentence I have ever loved. It has the humility of a plumber who knows he is good.
I find that wonderful. The way to survive fifty years in the business is evidently to say, in a mild voice, that you are good at the job and let people judge. Some of us have been saying the opposite for years and have the reviews to prove it.
The Frank Carter Question
Kerrang describes Frank Carter as the frontman of Gallows, Pure Love and The Rattlesnakes. My band once supported a band that once supported Gallows, so I count him as practically family. I do not know how this will sound. I have no inside knowledge, and I am not going to pretend to review a gig that has not happened.
What I will say is that putting a hardcore frontman in front of three men who made a noise in 1976 is either a masterstroke or a wonderful row. Both are welcome. Punk was never supposed to be tidy.
My Mum Wants a Ticket
I told my mum at breakfast. She went quiet, put down the teaspoon, and said she had seen the lot in a field in 1996 and had hated every minute. Then she asked how much the tickets were and whether there was a seat.
I explained that the Apollo is a seated venue in places and that I would look into it. I have not seen the ticket terms, so I will not quote any prices. I will tell her to check the Live Nation page, and I will tell her that fifty years is fifty years.
The Rent
Meanwhile the rent has gone up again. My landlady, who communicates by sticky note, has informed me that the boiler is under review. I am going to pretend this has nothing to do with my gig budget, and I am going to pretend that Brixton is cheap to get to from here, which it is not.
I am putting this in the diary so that future me, reading this in the bath, knows that I was warned.
Where I Stand
I will go to one of the London shows if I can, and I will behave. I will not shout at the stage that it is not the real thing, because it will be a real thing, with real people playing real songs in a real room. That is more than most of us get.
If you want to know how I feel, ask me at 11pm on the 18th, outside the Academy, in the rain.
What I Read On the Night Bus
Between gigs I read the comic papers, because somebody has to. This week the big joke was property: Manila News on slow condo sales in Cebu, the London Prat on retirees asked for character references (it is at https://prat.uk/cebu-estate-agents-demand-character-references/) and Bohiney on a realtor with unsellable beachfront listings. Exaggeration all the way down, but anchored to a real market story. More at prat.uk and bohiney.com.
Note: Philippine authorities are examining unproven allegations about Thomas Markle Sr., who lived in Cebu until earlier this year, as GMA News and the Guardian have reported. No charges have been filed. Child protection is a serious matter; the jokes here are about a property market and the paperwork.
Proper satire is still the best noise in London: try The Daily Mash, and the rest of the lot at NewsThump, NewsBiscuit and The Daily Squib.
SOURCE: https://bohiney.com/cebu-realtor-cant-sell-beachfront-listings/