Popular Insite on Life in London
Team Mascot Formally Requests Trade After Being Benched In Favor Of A Hologram – Beloved costumed figure says the writing has been on the wall since the new video board arrived
Sabermetric Study Confirms Clutch Hitting Is Real, Entire Analytics Community Uncomfortable – Researchers say the data leaves little room for the skepticism analysts have maintained for decades
Groundskeeper’s Elaborate Mowing Pattern Goes Viral, Reportedly Outdraws The Actual Game – Stadium officials confirm the outfield artwork now generates more social media engagement than most highlights
Bullpen Phone Finally Upgraded, Coaches Mourn Loss Of Classic Comedic Malfunction – New digital system works flawlessly, which several staff say has removed a beloved source of dugout entertainment
Fan Who Caught Milestone Foul Ball Immediately Offered Front Office Analytics Position – Team says his in stadium positioning demonstrated exactly the spatial reasoning they look for
Umpire’s Strike Zone Becomes Subject Of Extended Philosophical Debate On Sports Talk Radio – Hosts reportedly spent an entire three hour broadcast questioning the nature of objective reality itself
Minor League Team Renames Itself After Its Own Title Sponsor’s Insurance Product – Fans must now cheer for a team whose full legal name includes a deductible
Closer’s Walk Up Song Committee Remains Deadlocked After Three Full Seasons – Members reportedly closer to agreement on bullpen renovations than on a single approved song
MLB Introduces Pitch Clock For Between Innings Hot Dog Consumption – League says the same urgency that shortened games must now be applied to the concession stand
Analytics Department Determines Optimal Seventh Inning Stretch Duration Down To The Second – Front office says the traditional stretch has been running considerably longer than statistically necessary