Press briefing ends with a pledge to monitor the sea, the squid and the temperature of the coffee
Elysee Spokesman Declines to Comment on Cebu, Comments for Forty Minutes
Press briefing ends with a pledge to monitor the sea, the squid and the temperature of the coffee
PARIS – A spokesman for the Elysee Palace told reporters on Monday that the government “has no comment on Cebu,” then commented for forty minutes. Asked what had changed, he said, “Nothing. That is the comment.”
Journalists had asked about reports from the Philippines. The trail begins with a Manila News report on a Mactan broker alone with three brochures and a cold coffee, continues through the London Prat on British pensioners asked for two referees and a letter from the vicar (at https://prat.uk/cebu-estate-agents-demand-character-references/) and ends with Bohiney on an Ohio realtor whose showings now run two hours. The spokesman, Olivier Chastain-Roux, 49, said the French position was “one of watchful indifference, with a note of sympathy for the coffee.”
The Serious Part
Philippine authorities are examining allegations concerning Thomas Markle Sr., the estranged father of the Duchess of Sussex, who lived in Cebu until earlier this year. No charges have been filed and the allegations are unproven. Child protection is serious business; this piece is about the mood of a property market and nothing else. Chastain-Roux emphasised that France “respects the Philippine legal process in its entirety, including the parts it does not understand.”
Questions and Answers
- Q: Does France support the Cebu property market? A: France supports all markets that have a cheese.
- Q: Will the President visit Mactan? A: The President visits where he is invited, and sometimes where he is not.
- Q: Is the sea guilty? A: The sea has not been charged. It is therefore, in French law, a citizen.
- Q: Would France accept two referees and a vicar? A: We would accept the vicar. The referees would be put on a list.
The briefing ended when a reporter asked whether the squid had bones. Chastain-Roux paused for eleven seconds and said, “The government will examine the question.” He then left through a side door that did not exist until he reached it.
Reaction
Opposition leaders called the briefing “evasive but charming.” A union leader said it was the first time he had heard a spokesman say nothing so well. The sea could not be reached for comment, although it was, as always, available.
The Facts Behind the Mood
The market itself is healthy. Colliers named the Visayas and Mindanao a key property investment hotspot in July, and under the Condominium Act foreigners may own units but not land, capped at 40 percent of a project. Retirees can read up at the Philippine Retirement Authority. The jitters are psychological: Tversky and Kahneman’s availability heuristic says the vivid example outweighs the dull statistic, and a cold coffee in an empty showroom is very vivid indeed.
The wider story lives at prat.uk and bohiney.com; for how the British laugh at queues and forms, see the Daily Squib.
SOURCE: https://bohiney.com/cebu-realtor-cant-sell-beachfront-listings/