Snowbirds say a game against Mactan seniors will settle the question of who is better at waiting
Spring Training Retirees in Arizona Plan Cebu Cactus League Exhibition
Snowbirds say a game against Mactan seniors will settle the question of who is better at waiting
SCOTTSDALE, Ariz. – A group of snowbirds living in a gated Scottsdale community announced plans on Saturday for an exhibition baseball game against a team of retirees from Mactan, Cebu. The match will be played over video link, with each team’s moves narrated aloud by a man named Gus.
The challenge was prompted by reading. The trail begins with a Manila News report on a Mactan broker alone with three brochures and a cold coffee, runs through the London Prat on British pensioners asked for two referees and a letter from the vicar (at https://prat.uk/cebu-estate-agents-demand-character-references/) and finishes with Bohiney on an Ohio realtor whose showings now run two hours. Retired accountant Walt Pemberton-Silva, 74, who captains the Arizona side, said he was moved by the broker with three brochures. “Here is a man who can wait,” he said. “We are a team who can wait. Let us find out who waits better.”
A Respectful Preface
Philippine authorities are examining allegations concerning Thomas Markle Sr., the estranged father of the Duchess of Sussex, who lived in Cebu until earlier this year, as GMA News and the Guardian have reported. No charges have been filed and the allegations are unproven. Child protection is serious business, and nobody connected with this story makes light of it; the jokes are about a property market and the ballpark. Pemberton-Silva said the game “will be about knees and hearing aids, and nothing else.”
The Lineup
- Leadoff: Dolores “Slow Lane” Hutchins, 78, who has not run since 2009 but has an excellent eye.
- Second: Rev. Clement Aldous, 71, a retired vicar who bats left and provides letters.
- Third: Pemberton-Silva, who cannot swing but can explain a swing for eleven minutes.
- Cleanup: Arthur “The Box” Quigley, 80, who carries a sandwich box to the plate and sets it carefully on the dish.
- Pitcher: A retired dentist from Tucson who throws underhand and apologizes after every pitch.
The Cebu side has sent a roster that includes a retired pilot, a nurse, a family from Davao and a goat. The goat plays shortstop. A scouting report from the Arizona side described it as “an excellent glove who will not make eye contact with the elevator.”
Training Camp
Practice began on Sunday morning. The Arizona seniors spent forty minutes stretching, twenty minutes arguing about who would hold the bat and two minutes actually playing. A coach, Pat Villareal, 69, said the team’s best-conditioned athlete was “the water cooler.”
Community members have rallied behind the effort. A neighbor donated a set of folding chairs, another a tray of lemon bars and a third a spare hearing aid. A man from the clubhouse committee demanded that all players submit two references and a utility bill, and everyone laughed until they realized he meant it.
Game Day
The first pitch was thrown at 10 a.m. and landed at 10:03. Play was halted for lunch. A review of the replay, conducted by a committee, took until 4 p.m. and concluded that nobody could say whether the ball had been fair. The sea, watching on the Cebu feed, was said to have done nothing.
The game ended 7-7 on a technicality, a rare outcome that both teams hailed as “very us.” Afterwards, Pemberton-Silva and his Cebu counterpart exchanged letters of recommendation and a gift basket. In the basket was a biscuit tin, a dried mango and a card that said, “You are fine.”
Medical Staff
The communities’ medical staff have been briefed. Each team is accompanied by a nurse, a physiotherapist and a woman named Marge who carries ice, tissues and gossip. Marge said the most common injury of the exhibition was “the sudden realization that one is not twenty-five.” The second most common was a pulled hamstring. The third was a pulled hamstring in the other leg, which Marge attributed to enthusiasm, and which she treated with a reference and a biscuit.
After the game, both teams shared a meal of lemon bars and dried mango, and agreed to meet again in spring. The goat, who had played flawlessly, was named most valuable player, and accepted the award with a dignified silence.
The Real Numbers
For fans who want the box score behind the mood, the market itself is fine. Colliers named the Visayas and Mindanao a key property investment hotspot in July, and under the Condominium Act foreigners may own units but not land, capped at 40 percent of any project. Retirees can read up at the Philippine Retirement Authority. The jitters are a cognitive thing: Tversky and Kahneman’s availability heuristic says one vivid image beats a season of statistics, and a Mactan broker alone with three brochures and a cold coffee is a very vivid image indeed. Baseball fans know this well. One error in the ninth is remembered; a hundred and sixty-one clean games are not.
The full story lives at prat.uk and bohiney.com; for the British view of any sport played slowly, try NewsThump.
SOURCE: https://bohiney.com/cebu-realtor-cant-sell-beachfront-listings/