A national survey of 2,000 single adults by DatingAdvice.com and the Kinsey Institute finds honesty is the top trait people want, few prefer dating apps and many are voluntarily single
A Snapshot Of Single Life
Dating has changed dramatically over the past two decades, with apps, social media and now artificial intelligence reshaping how people meet. But what do single people actually want? A large survey offers some answers. The State of US: A National Study on Modern Love and Dating was conducted by DatingAdvice.com and the Kinsey Institute, led by Dr Justin Lehmiller and Dr Amanda Gesselman. It surveyed 2,000 single adults in the United States, weighted to census data, in April and May 2025. Emily Mendelson summarized the findings on the Sex and Psychology blog in a piece titled the state of dating entering 2026.
What Singles Want
Most singles want some kind of relationship, with committed, exclusive relationships the most common goal. Nearly half of men and 43.5 percent of women said they wanted one. But a significant minority are not looking at all. About one in five men and more than one in three women said they were not seeking any relationship. Women were nearly twice as likely as men to be in that group.
That finding challenges the assumption that being single is always a temporary state people are eager to leave. For many, especially women, singlehood appears to be a deliberate choice.
The Traits That Matter
When asked what they want in a partner, honesty ranked first for both men and women. After that, priorities diverged. Women prioritized kindness and compassion, communication and dependability. Men ranked physical attraction in their top three, while women placed it sixth. The findings echo decades of research on partner preferences, while highlighting the central importance of trust for everyone.
App Fatigue
Perhaps the most striking finding concerns how people want to meet. Despite the dominance of dating apps, singles overwhelmingly prefer meeting partners in person. Fewer than 20 percent of men and 12 percent of women said they preferred apps. The article suggests this reflects widespread app fatigue: frustration with endless swiping, unanswered messages and the sense that apps can make dating feel transactional.
Voluntary And Involuntary Singlehood
The survey also asked about periods without intimate relationships. It found that 21.8 percent of women and 15.1 percent of men described themselves as voluntarily celibate, while 27.4 percent of men and 14.4 percent of women described themselves as involuntarily celibate. Combined, nearly half of single men and about a third of single women were not currently in intimate relationships. The figures highlight two different experiences: some people choosing to step back from dating, and others wanting connection but struggling to find it.
Wary Of AI
Artificial intelligence is beginning to appear in dating, from app features that suggest matches or messages to chatbots offering companionship. The survey found considerable scepticism, especially among women. Only 7.3 percent of women were open to using AI to enhance their intimate lives, 13.8 percent to find a compatible partner and 12.3 percent to build an emotional connection. Men were about twice as likely as women to consider AI for these purposes. Trust, again, appears central: many people are uncomfortable with technology mediating something as personal as romance.
Trends For The Year Ahead
Based on the findings, Mendelson suggests that people are becoming more selective about relationships and feeling less pressure to couple up. Authenticity is expected to matter more, and in-person connection is likely to be favoured over technology. For singles frustrated with apps, the article recommends broadening their approach through local events, social clubs and community activities, where meeting people happens more naturally.
The rise of voluntary singlehood connects with broader social changes. More people are living alone, delaying or forgoing marriage and building lives centred on friends, careers and personal interests. For many, singlehood is not a waiting room but a fulfilling way of life. That shift is reflected in the finding that a substantial share of singles, particularly women, are not looking for a relationship at all.
A European Lens
The survey focused on the United States, so its figures may not translate directly to Europe, where dating cultures, social structures and attitudes vary considerably between countries. However, many of the trends it identifies, such as app fatigue, interest in in-person connection and growing acceptance of singlehood, are widely discussed among European singles and relationship professionals as well. European readers may recognize some of these patterns in their own experiences.
What It Means For Singles
For people who are dating, the findings offer some reassurance. If apps feel exhausting, you are far from alone, and many others share a preference for meeting in person. Honesty and kindness remain the qualities most people value, which suggests that authenticity is more attractive than any curated profile. And if you are single and content, the data shows that many others are too.
The Takeaway
Modern dating is complex, but the basic human desires it reflects are not. People want honest, kind and dependable partners. Many prefer to meet them face to face. And a growing number feel free to choose whether, when and how to pursue a relationship at all. The state of dating, in other words, may be moving away from pressure and toward choice.