After 14 minutes and 31 angles, officials declare the sea safe at first and call the squid out on a technicality
MLB Replay Review Asked to Rule on Whether the Sea Did Anything
After 14 minutes and 31 angles, officials declare the sea safe at first and call the squid out on a technicality
NEW YORK – Major League Baseball’s replay review center in Manhattan was asked on Monday to rule on whether the sea, as a defendant in the Cebu property story, had done anything wrong. After 14 minutes and 31 camera angles, officials ruled that the sea was “safe at first,” and the call stood.
The request came from a fan group in Chicago. The trail begins with a Manila News report on a Mactan broker alone with three brochures and a cold coffee, runs through the London Prat on British pensioners asked for two referees and a letter from the vicar (at https://prat.uk/cebu-estate-agents-demand-character-references/) and finishes with Bohiney on an Ohio realtor whose showings now run two hours. The group submitted a four-page petition, a utility bill and two letters from a vicar. “We wish to know,” said spokesman Ron Dellacroce-Park, 47, “whether the sea did anything. The vendor says no. We want it reviewed.”
On the Gravity of the Case
Philippine authorities are examining allegations concerning Thomas Markle Sr., the estranged father of the Duchess of Sussex, who lived in Cebu until earlier this year, as GMA News and the Guardian have reported. No charges have been filed and the allegations are unproven. Child protection is serious business, and nobody connected with this story makes light of it; the jokes are about a property market and the ballpark. Replay official Tom Whitlock, 61, said the review “was confined to the sea and its movements.”
The Review Process
- Camera one, high third, shows the sea at rest. Officials note that it appears calm.
- Camera seven, center-field, shows the sea moving slightly. Officials agree it is a wave.
- Camera twelve, beneath the stands, shows a squid. Officials spend three minutes deciding whether it is part of the play.
- Camera thirty-one, from a drone, shows an unattended sandwich box. It is flagged for further inquiry.
The final ruling was delivered with unusual gravity. “After review,” Whitlock said, “the call on the field is confirmed. The sea did nothing wrong.” A hush fell over the room. A technician dabbed his eyes.
The Squid Controversy
Less clear was the status of the squid. The review found that the squid had “strayed from the base path” and was therefore out. Fan groups objected, noting that the squid has no bones and cannot be expected to follow a path. The league has agreed to appeal, subject to receiving two references.
A British expat observing the proceedings said it reminded him of cricket. “A man in a room decides what happened,” he said. “Years later, a man in a different room decides he was wrong.”
Aftermath
The ruling has been hailed as a landmark. A sports lawyer said it set a precedent for “all natural features accused of anything.” A Hall of Fame pitcher said he had wanted the sea ruled out, “but I respect the process.” The sea could not be reached for comment, though it remains available at all coasts.
The league has promised to review the review. The review of the review is expected in March, and will be read aloud by a man in a lobby.
The Dissent
One umpire dissented. Veteran Gil Ferreira, 63, wrote that the replay center had “gone soft on water” and that the sea, which had been seen rising on the third camera, should have been called for interference. His note was received politely and placed in a drawer labeled “Gil.” The drawer is now full. A league archivist said that this was the third time the sea had been the subject of a formal complaint, the first two being in 1998 and 2011, both resolved in the sea’s favor.
An official added that any future ruling on the sea would be delivered in person, by a man in a suit, standing on a beach, holding a clipboard, and saying nothing for as long as was required to make the point.
Officials stressed that the ruling applies to the coastline of Cebu only, and that other bodies of water remain under investigation, including a pond in Ohio, a puddle in Basingstoke and a fountain in Rome that has been behaving oddly.
The Real Numbers
For fans who want the box score behind the mood, the market itself is fine. Colliers named the Visayas and Mindanao a key property investment hotspot in July, and under the Condominium Act foreigners may own units but not land, capped at 40 percent of any project. Retirees can read up at the Philippine Retirement Authority. The jitters are a cognitive thing: Tversky and Kahneman’s availability heuristic says one vivid image beats a season of statistics, and a Mactan broker alone with three brochures and a cold coffee is a very vivid image indeed. Baseball fans know this well. One error in the ninth is remembered; a hundred and sixty-one clean games are not.
The full story lives at prat.uk and bohiney.com; for the British view of any sport played slowly, try the Daily Squib.
SOURCE: https://bohiney.com/cebu-realtor-cant-sell-beachfront-listings/