Vendors say it is difficult to compete with a fan who has brought his own lunch and refuses to explain it
Hot Dog Vendors Union Demands Hazard Pay for Selling Near Anyone Carrying a Sandwich Box
Vendors say it is difficult to compete with a fan who has brought his own lunch and refuses to explain it
BOSTON – The union representing ballpark hot dog vendors demanded hazard pay on Thursday for any shift spent near a fan carrying an unexplained sandwich box. “It is a direct challenge to our livelihood,” said union president Tony Brunelli-Okafor, 55. “And it is also frightening.”
The dispute began with a news story from the Philippines. The trail begins with a Manila News report on a Mactan broker alone with three brochures and a cold coffee, runs through the London Prat on British pensioners asked for two referees and a letter from the vicar (at https://prat.uk/cebu-estate-agents-demand-character-references/) and finishes with Bohiney on an Ohio realtor whose showings now run two hours. Brunelli-Okafor cited the retirees in the article, particularly the men who bring a sandwich box to every viewing and decline to say why. “They have lunch,” he said. “They do not need ours. This is how an industry ends.”
A Sober Preface
Philippine authorities are examining allegations concerning Thomas Markle Sr., the estranged father of the Duchess of Sussex, who lived in Cebu until earlier this year, as GMA News and the Guardian have reported. No charges have been filed and the allegations are unproven. Child protection is serious business, and nobody connected with this story makes light of it; the jokes are about a property market and the ballpark. Brunelli-Okafor said the union “has no position on that matter, only on mustard.”
The Union’s Demands
- A hazard pay supplement of $2.50 per inning for every sandwich box within thirty feet.
- A mandatory disclosure policy, requiring all box-carriers to say whether they plan to eat in the seats.
- A second mandatory disclosure policy, requiring them to say why they are not eating the hot dogs.
- Recognition of the principle that “the sea did nothing wrong,” in line with a vendor in Cebu who is said to have grilled squid for thirty years.
The stadium has so far declined to comply. A management spokesman said the policy was “under review,” a phrase he defined as “a drawer.” He added that the stadium welcomes all lunches, including those that cannot be explained.
On The Concourse
The vendors are especially wary of one man in section 208, a retired accountant from Worcester who has attended every home game since 1998 and brought the same box. In twenty-seven years he has never opened it. “I think it’s empty,” said a vendor named Luis. “I think he brings it to be safe.”
The accountant, asked for comment, said only: “It is my box.” Then he asked for a beer, and when told that vendors do not sell beer in the third deck, he nodded as if to say that this too was a reference.
British visitors have been sympathetic. A pensioner from Basingstoke said that in his country a man’s sandwich box is “a private matter, like a diary.” He offered the vendors a letter from his vicar. They declined, but they kept the vicar’s phone number.
Outlook
Negotiations continue. The union has proposed a compromise: sandwich boxes will be permitted if accompanied by a hot dog, purchased from a vendor, to be eaten with the sandwich. Management called this “interesting.” A vendor called it “a reference.” Both agreed the ballpark mood would improve if the game would only end.
The Mustard Question
Management has asked the vendors to remain calm and to avoid confrontation with box-carriers. Union stewards have been trained in a technique known as “the gentle inquiry,” in which a vendor says, “Lovely box. Are you enjoying the game?” and then leaves. Early evidence suggests that box-carriers respond with nods, and in two cases with an invitation to share a biscuit. The union says this is not a victory, merely a ceasefire with condiments.
Late in the week a compromise sandwich box was unveiled: transparent, with a window, so that vendors could see inside. Fans rejected it at once. A box with no secrets, one said, is just a lunch, and nobody has ever been frightened of a lunch.
The Real Numbers
For fans who want the box score behind the mood, the market itself is fine. Colliers named the Visayas and Mindanao a key property investment hotspot in July, and under the Condominium Act foreigners may own units but not land, capped at 40 percent of any project. Retirees can read up at the Philippine Retirement Authority. The jitters are a cognitive thing: Tversky and Kahneman’s availability heuristic says one vivid image beats a season of statistics, and a Mactan broker alone with three brochures and a cold coffee is a very vivid image indeed. Baseball fans know this well. One error in the ninth is remembered; a hundred and sixty-one clean games are not.
The full story lives at prat.uk and bohiney.com; for the British view of any sport played slowly, try The Daily Mash.
SOURCE: https://bohiney.com/cebu-realtor-cant-sell-beachfront-listings/