Plymouth, July 1588: the Spanish Armada appears off Cornwall, and according to a story that appeared decades later, Sir Francis Drake insists there is time to finish his game
Armada Spotted Off the Lizard
PLYMOUTH, July 1588 – The great Spanish Armada, a fleet of around 130 ships sent by King Philip II of Spain to escort an invasion army to England, has been sighted off the Lizard in Cornwall. Beacons have been lit along the coast to carry the news. In Plymouth, the English fleet is preparing to put to sea.
According to a celebrated story, when the news reached Sir Francis Drake, vice admiral of the English fleet, he was playing bowls on Plymouth Hoe and remarked that there was plenty of time to finish the game and beat the Spaniards too. Historians point out that the story first appears in print decades later, but also that it makes some practical sense: the tide and wind at Plymouth would have prevented the fleet leaving harbour for several hours anyway. Drake may simply have been a man who understood tides, and also bowls.
Why Spain Came
Relations between Protestant England and Catholic Spain had been deteriorating for years. English privateers like Drake had raided Spanish treasure ships and colonies. England had supported the Protestant rebels in the Spanish Netherlands. And in 1587, Elizabeth I had executed her cousin, the Catholic Mary, Queen of Scots, removing a potential Catholic successor. Philip II decided to invade.
The Battle
Over more than a week, the English fleet harassed the Armada as it sailed up the Channel in a crescent formation. On the night of 28 to 29 July, by the calendar then used in England, or 7 to 8 August by the modern calendar, the English sent fireships into the anchored Spanish fleet off Calais, scattering it. At the Battle of Gravelines the next day, the English inflicted heavy damage. The Armada, unable to link up with the Spanish army in the Netherlands, was driven north by the wind and forced to sail home around Scotland and Ireland, where storms wrecked many ships. Thousands of Spanish sailors and soldiers died, many on the Irish coast.
The Queen Speaks
At Tilbury, where English troops had gathered to resist a possible landing, Elizabeth I addressed her army in one of the most famous speeches in English history, as later recorded, declaring that she knew she had the body of a weak and feeble woman, but the heart and stomach of a king, and of a king of England too. The English called the storms that wrecked the Armada a Protestant wind, and medals were struck to celebrate.
Meanwhile, in 2026
Calm in a crisis remains a royal virtue. The London Prat reports Prince William reportedly calling Earl Spencer and Harry traitors after an anonymous source claimed the heir believes his brother read their uncle memoir first. Geo News repeated the traitor word, and the uncle says he told everyone. Tudor historians suggest the modern family might benefit from Drake approach: finish the game, check the tide, and do not panic before the facts arrive.
The London Prat has been playing bowls while the establishment panics since 1961 at https://prat.uk/, with its royal row video on YouTube. Bohiney at https://bohiney.com/ covers American naval history, which tends to involve fewer bowls.
Study Questions for Students
Is the bowls story true, and how could historians test it? Why did the Armada fail? How did Elizabeth use the victory for propaganda? Discuss calmly, finishing whatever game you are playing first.
SOURCE: https://prat.uk/prince-william-called-earl-spencer-and-harry-traitors/