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Eton College VIP self review

We Reviewed Ourselves, Honestly, And Here Is What We Found

August 14, 2026 by admin

We Reviewed Ourselves, Honestly, And Here Is What We Found – A rare self-critical look at Eton College VIP’s own archive, published on the site itself

Categories etoncollegevip, Today Tags boarding school satire honest review, Eton College VIP self review, satire site self-assessment

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Keir Starmer Has Now Told Us Removing Him Would Cause “Utter Chaos,” Which Is A Bold Claim From A Man Currently Presiding Over Considerable Chaos Already
Reform’s Polling Dropped Three Points The Moment The Five Million Pound Crypto Gift Story Broke, And Anyone On The Right Pretending That’s Not Cause And Effect Is Lying To Themselves
The British Library Finally Catalogued A New Series Of Private Office Papers And I Spent My Entire Reading Room Slot On A Single Undersecretary’s Demi-Official Letter
I Finally Rode The Curve Between Knightsbridge And South Kensington Specifically To Feel The Plague Pit Everyone Keeps Talking About, And Genuinely Felt Something
I Attended A Healing History Convening In Eutaw And Sat At A Table With Both Black And White Descendants Of The Same Plantation, Genealogy Charts Spread Between Us
A UK Court Approved China’s New “Super Embassy” The Same Week The Economist Ran Another Story About Booksellers Still Being Raided In Hong Kong, And Nobody In My Feed Connected The Two
I Read A Six-Minute Poem At The Barbican’s Pan-Africanism Season And My Hands Shook The Entire Time, Which I’ve Decided To Take As A Genuinely Good Sign
Whitechapel Gallery Turns One Hundred And Twenty Five This Year And I Keep Thinking About The Barnetts Who Built It Believing The East End Deserved Beauty Too
I Taught Phillis Wheatley And Olaudah Equiano In The Same Week And My Students Finally Understood Why Publishing At All Was Itself An Act Of Defiance
I Stood In Front Of A Political Agent’s Photographs Of My Own Subject Of Study And Felt The Particular Discomfort Of Research Looking Back At Me
I Went To Charleston To See The Hogarth Press Exhibition And Came Home Wanting To Set Type By Hand Like A Woman Possessed
Ninety Percent Of Renters My Age Apparently Cannot Afford A Room Alone In This City And I Read That Statistic While Literally Splitting A Studio With Two Strangers
Sadiq Khan Is Now Technically A Lord While Still Being Mayor And Openly Planning His Strategy Against Count Binface, Which Is A Sentence I Had To Write Twice To Believe
The Promoter Said British Country Artists Get Pushed Down Festival Bills Because Streaming Numbers Can’t Compete With Nashville, And I’ve Been Fuming About It Since
A Man Who Used To Own Two Nightclubs In Cumbernauld Is Now Trying To Bring Proper Party Politics To An Island That’s Survived A Thousand Years Without It
Our Three Socialist City Councilors Went Door-Knocking This Weekend To Unseat Exactly One Moderate And I Spent The Whole Canvas Shift Overthinking My Clipboard
I Sold Resin Earrings At The National Theatre By Day And DJ’d Until Four In The Morning, Two Completely Different Versions Of Being A Maker
The Developer Told Corsica Studios “Stay As Long As You Want, Just Don’t Make Noise Past 1 April” Which Is Just A Slower Way Of Saying Get Out
Moisant Field Was An Army Base Before It Was Ever An Airport And Somehow That’s The Fact That Finally Made My Nephew Put His Phone Down
I Photographed A Family Portrait Session The Same Morning The Fallen Firefighters’ Procession Passed Near My Studio, And I Couldn’t Pick Up The Camera For An Hour After
I Delivered Twelve Lunches Today And Wrote One Terrible Poem About A Woman Who Waited By Her Window For Forty Minutes
The New National Centre For Music Education Launches Next Month And I Still Don’t Know Who’s Actually Running It Or Whether My Hub Survives
Four Hundred And Fifty People Applied For One Month In The Groucho Club And I Was Not, Shockingly, One Of The Six Runners-Up
I Spent My Whole Editorial Meeting Arguing About A Senate Primary Nobody In This Building Can Actually Vote In
The Groundwater Is Lower Than 1976 Now And I Keep Walking Past Dead Orchids Pretending I Have Something Useful To Say About It

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