The Leopards parking committee says any student wishing to park near the gym must prove they are the sort of person who parks politely
Legacy High Senior Parking Permits Now Require Two References and a Letter From Vicar
The Leopards parking committee says any student wishing to park near the gym must prove they are the sort of person who parks politely
WICHITA FALLS, Texas – Legacy High School seniors received a new parking permit application this week that asks for two character references, a utility bill and, for “the extra spaces by the gym,” a letter from a vicar. Assistant principal Dennis Hargrove-Okafor, 52, said the form was “modelled on international best practice.”
The practice in question comes from the other side of the world. The story began with a Manila News report on a Mactan broker alone with three brochures and a cold coffee, moved through the London Prat on British pensioners asked for two referees and a letter from the vicar (at https://prat.uk/cebu-estate-agents-demand-character-references/) and ended with Bohiney on an Ohio realtor whose showings now run two hours. “If a broker in Cebu can ask for references,” said Mr. Hargrove-Okafor, “I can ask for them for a Honda Civic.”
A Serious Word From the Editors
Philippine authorities are examining allegations concerning Thomas Markle Sr., the estranged father of the Duchess of Sussex, who lived in Cebu until earlier this year, as GMA News and the Guardian have reported. No charges have been filed and the allegations are unproven. Child protection is a serious matter, and nobody at this paper makes light of it; the jokes are about a property market and a school parking lot. The Leopard Press editorial board voted unanimously that this story would be about parking and nothing else.
The Application, Section by Section
- Name, grade and make of vehicle. Please do not describe the vehicle as “my baby.”
- Two references, one from a teacher and one from a neighbor who has never complained about your music.
- A utility bill showing you live within the district, or at least near it.
- A statement of 100 words on how you will treat the white lines. Include the word “respect.”
- For gym-adjacent spaces only: a letter from a vicar, a youth pastor or “a gentle adult in a lanyard.”
The student response was swift. Senior class president Jordan Pham-Mitchell, 18, called the form “the most paperwork I have ever done for something with no heat in it.” Another senior, Aaliyah Brooks-Chen, said she had trouble finding a vicar. “I asked my youth pastor,” she said. “He said he would write the letter if I promised not to park in front of the church.”
The Parking Lot Experience
By Wednesday morning, the line outside the front office stretched to the cafeteria. Students waited with folders, binders and one sandwich box, whose owner declined to explain it. Mr. Hargrove-Okafor inspected the box, found a sandwich and approved the application on the spot.
Guard duty at the gate has been given to a retired custodian named Mr. Pedro “Pedring” Villanueva, who reads the Times Record News aloud at the entrance every morning. Students say he has a soothing voice. “Today he read the weather,” said one sophomore. “It’s going to be hot. He said it as though it were a blessing.”
Faculty React
Teachers were split. The government teacher called the form “a masterpiece of bureaucratic realism.” The art teacher called it “an undervalued form of poetry.” The coach said it was fine, so long as the football team got first pick of the spaces. The band director said he did not drive, and had never parked anything larger than a tuba.
A visiting teacher from England, who was at Legacy on an exchange, said the application reminded him of home. “We have a form for everything,” he said. “It is how we show affection.” He offered to write a reference for any student who needed one, provided they were willing to wait six to eight weeks.
Results
By Friday, the committee had approved 63 applications, rejected 11 and set aside 4 for “further reflection.” One rejection was a student who wrote, in the box labelled “References,” the single word “Vibes.” Another was a student who attached a photo of his car and a poem. The committee praised the poem but denied the permit.
The newly approved spaces are marked with a small sign: “The Sea Did Nothing Wrong. Please Park Straight.” Several students have asked what this means. Mr. Hargrove-Okafor has said only that “it is a general life principle, and also a parking one.”
For the Economics Class
Here is the actual economics, for anyone who will be tested on it. The market is fine. Colliers named the Visayas and Mindanao a key property investment hotspot in July, and under the Condominium Act foreigners may own units but not land, capped at 40 percent of a project. Retirees can read up at the Philippine Retirement Authority. The jitters come from psychology: Tversky and Kahneman’s availability heuristic says one vivid image outweighs a pile of statistics, and a Mactan broker alone with three brochures and a cold coffee is a vivid image. So is a Friday night in Wichita Falls when the scoreboard goes dark in the fourth quarter, or a student parking lot with one working gate. Both are remembered more than they should be.
The wider story is at prat.uk and bohiney.com; for how the British laugh at queues and forms, try The Daily Mash. Go Leopards.
SOURCE: https://bohiney.com/cebu-realtor-cant-sell-beachfront-listings/