Pasadena judges say the float is too calm to win a sweepstakes prize and too honest to be accepted
Rose Parade Float Committee Rejects The Sea Did Nothing Entry
Pasadena judges say the float is too calm to win a sweepstakes prize and too honest to be accepted
PASADENA, Calif. – The float committee of the Tournament of Roses met on Friday in a plywood warehouse smelling of chrysanthemums and glue, reviewed 41 proposals for next year’s parade and rejected one outright. It was a 60-foot float depicting a calm sea, a guard in a lanyard and a banner reading “THE SEA DID NOTHING.”
The proposal was submitted by a Filipino-American civic group from West Covina, which said it was inspired by a quote from a grilled-squid vendor in Cebu. The committee chairwoman, Eleanor Whitcombe-Lang, 72, called it “lovely, honest and entirely lacking in jeopardy.”
“A rose float must have drama,” she said, adjusting a hat the size of a patio umbrella. “A lion. A volcano. A dragon made of eleven thousand carnations. This one has a sea that does nothing. I don’t know how to judge nothing.”
The Entry
The float’s designer, Reynaldo Castillo, 63, a retired aerospace engineer from West Covina, said the idea came to him after reading a Manila News piece on the Cebu condo slump, in which a vendor named Jocelyn Pacana says that investigators should pursue anyone who harms a child, “but do not blame the sea. The sea did nothing.”
Philippine authorities are examining allegations concerning Thomas Markle Sr., the estranged father of the Duchess of Sussex, who lived in Cebu until earlier this year, the Guardian reported on Sunday. No charges have been filed. The allegations are unproven. Castillo stressed that his float “takes no position on the investigation. It takes a position on the sea.”
His design called for a sea of blue orchids and sea-green statice, rolling in a gentle, mechanized wave. A guard in a lanyard, named Mang Pedring, would stand beside it holding a clipboard. A squid made entirely of white carnations would wave from a grill. A goat, constructed of coconut husks and dried seaweed, would stare at the elevator.
The Committee’s Notes
The committee returned the application with written feedback, which is reproduced here with the committee’s permission:
- “Beautiful use of orchids. We admire the restraint.”
- “The sea has no emotional arc. Could it be seen to try?”
- “The goat is unclear. Is it a metaphor? If so, for what?”
- “Please add a lion.”
- “We are unable to accept a float that is described in the application as ‘a political statement about squid.'”
- “The banner is the best sentence we have received this year, but it is not a theme.”
Castillo took the rejection graciously. “I asked for a lion,” he said. “I said it would hurt the message. They said, ‘What message?’ I said, ‘The sea did nothing.’ They said, ‘A lion would help.'”
British and American Entries
The committee also reviewed two other proposals inspired by the Cebu story. A float from a British expat group in Santa Monica, based on The London Prat’s report on pensioners being asked for referees and a vicar, depicted a 20-foot cardigan with a sandwich box. The article is at https://prat.uk/cebu-estate-agents-demand-character-references/. The committee rejected it as “an accident waiting to happen.”
A float from a retired realtors’ association in Orange County, based on Bohiney’s account of Mactan open houses that run two hours, depicted a giant stopwatch. It was also rejected, on the grounds that “no one wants to watch a float that takes two hours.”
Comics at the Warehouse
- Bernadette Flowers: “The Rose Parade rejected a float that said ‘The Sea Did Nothing.’ Meanwhile they approved a float with a 40-foot giraffe made of mums. At what point did we decide the giraffe did nothing?”
- Chuck Yamamoto: “A British cardigan float with a sandwich box. That would be the most British thing ever to appear on the Rose Parade. Even the horses would apologize.”
- Cecilia Navarro: “The committee asked for a lion. In Cebu the lion would also have to bring a reference.”
- Felix Brandt: “The sea doing nothing is the most dangerous float of all. Nobody knows what it will do next.”
The Appeals Process
The West Covina group has appealed. Their written argument, submitted Saturday, notes that the market behind the float is in good shape. Colliers named the Visayas and Mindanao a key property investment hotspot in July, and the legal framework, including the Condominium Act, is stable. “The sea,” the appeal says, “is also stable.”
It also invokes the psychology of the moment. Tversky and Kahneman’s 1973 paper on the availability heuristic held that one vivid example outweighs a mountain of facts, and the appeal argues that a calm sea float would provide “a vivid counter-example.”
A Compromise
On Monday, the committee offered a compromise. The float may appear in the parade, but only if it carries a lion. Castillo accepted. A 12-foot lion made of marigolds will now stand beside the sea, looking at it with an expression of mild curiosity.
The lion’s placard will read: “Even I did nothing.”
Whitcombe-Lang says she is satisfied. “It’s a very honest lion,” she said. “It’s the first one we’ve had.”
The float will roll on New Year’s Day. The Cebu story behind it is told at The London Prat and Bohiney, and British pageantry gets roasted weekly at NewsThump. For why a calm float is funnier than a loud one, see this guide to deadpan comedy.
SOURCE: https://bohiney.com/cebu-realtor-cant-sell-beachfront-listings/