Neighbors on Waveland Avenue say the ivy has seen too much and the seats are going to people they cannot vouch for
Wrigley Rooftop Owners Demand Character References From Anyone Who Wants a View
Neighbors on Waveland Avenue say the ivy has seen too much and the seats are going to people they cannot vouch for
CHICAGO – Owners of the rooftop seating clubs on Waveland Avenue announced on Sunday that anyone wishing to watch a Cubs game from their roofs must provide two character references, a utility bill and a short essay on the ivy. “We have to be careful about who sits on our property,” said association president Doreen Kowalski-Mbeki, 63.
The rooftop owners cited the Cebu property story. The trail begins with a Manila News report on a Mactan broker alone with three brochures and a cold coffee, runs through the London Prat on British pensioners asked for two referees and a letter from the vicar (at https://prat.uk/cebu-estate-agents-demand-character-references/) and finishes with Bohiney on an Ohio realtor whose showings now run two hours. “We read that brokers over there are asking buyers for references,” said Kowalski-Mbeki. “We have been letting strangers drink on our roofs for thirty years. We wondered why nobody asked us.”
A Note On Tone
Philippine authorities are examining allegations concerning Thomas Markle Sr., the estranged father of the Duchess of Sussex, who lived in Cebu until earlier this year, as GMA News and the Guardian have reported. No charges have been filed and the allegations are unproven. Child protection is serious business, and nobody connected with this story makes light of it; the jokes are about a property market and the ballpark. Kowalski-Mbeki stated that the association “is concerned only with who sits where, and with whether they bring snacks.”
The Rooftop Application
- Name, address and a short explanation of your relationship to the Cubs.
- Two references, one of whom has never watched a Cubs game from the street.
- A statement on the ivy, not to exceed 200 words.
- A declaration that you do not own a sandwich box, or, if you do, a detailed account of why you are carrying it.
- A solemn promise not to ask whether the sea did anything.
The first applicant, a retired schoolteacher from Naperville, brought four letters, including one from a former student who has since become a judge. She was accepted, then asked to stand on the roof for the first three innings while the committee reviewed her essay.
Reactions Along The Avenue
Street-level fans were unimpressed. A man outside the Cubby Bear called the application “a hostage form.” Another said he would rather watch the game from the street, where “nobody asks about the ivy.” A British tourist said he was perfectly happy to produce a reference, as he had been asked for one by every pub in the city.
Inside the ballpark, the ivy remained impassive. A groundskeeper, speaking under condition of anonymity, said the ivy had heard everything and would not be commenting. “It has seen the Cubs lose for a hundred years,” he said. “It knows how to wait.”
The First Game
On the first day of the new policy, four rooftops were empty, six were full, and one contained a single man in a lounge chair with a sandwich box. When asked why he was there, he said, “I am fine.” The committee, after a brief conference, allowed him to stay. The Cubs lost 6-1.
At the end of the game, Kowalski-Mbeki closed the sign-in book and read a short statement. “The roofs are safe,” she said. “The ivy is calm. And as a vendor in the Philippines once said, the sea did nothing wrong.” The crowd cheered. A beer was spilled. Nobody could say who had been vouched for.
Neighbors Weigh In
Residents of the avenue are split. Some say the application is long overdue. Others think it a symptom of an age in which no one trusts a stranger with a folding chair. An elderly woman who has lived on Waveland since 1962 said she was happy to give a reference for anyone, “provided he moves his car.” A young couple said they would apply for a roof seat, then added they were not sure they could afford the essay. The ivy was not asked, but its position was understood.
As the crowd drifted down Waveland Avenue, a vendor sold the last bag of peanuts to a man who had been vouched for twice and trusted by no one. Both parties agreed it had been a fair transaction, and neither mentioned the ivy.
The Real Numbers
For fans who want the box score behind the mood, the market itself is fine. Colliers named the Visayas and Mindanao a key property investment hotspot in July, and under the Condominium Act foreigners may own units but not land, capped at 40 percent of any project. Retirees can read up at the Philippine Retirement Authority. The jitters are a cognitive thing: Tversky and Kahneman’s availability heuristic says one vivid image beats a season of statistics, and a Mactan broker alone with three brochures and a cold coffee is a very vivid image indeed. Baseball fans know this well. One error in the ninth is remembered; a hundred and sixty-one clean games are not.
The full story lives at prat.uk and bohiney.com; for the British view of any sport played slowly, try NewsThump.
SOURCE: https://bohiney.com/cebu-realtor-cant-sell-beachfront-listings/