The managing committee says anyone leaving the building must first prove they will behave in another building
Mumbai Housing Society Demands NOC and Two References From Cebu-Bound Retirees
The managing committee says anyone leaving the building must first prove they will behave in another building
MUMBAI – The managing committee of a Powai housing society has announced that no resident may relocate to Cebu without a No Objection Certificate, two references and an affidavit on stamp paper promising to “conduct himself in the manner expected of a Powai resident, even in the Visayas.” The notice was pinned to the lift at 7 a.m. and had 41 comments by 7:15.
Committee secretary Mr. Suresh Kulkarni-Menon, 67, said the circular was inspired by foreign news. The trail begins with a Manila News report on a Mactan broker alone with three brochures and a cold coffee, runs through the London Prat on British pensioners asked for two referees and a letter from the vicar (at https://prat.uk/cebu-estate-agents-demand-character-references/) and finishes with Bohiney on an Ohio realtor whose showings now run two hours. “If Cebu can ask for references,” he said, “we can ask for them first. This is a matter of Mumbai’s honour.”
On a Serious Note
Philippine authorities are examining allegations concerning Thomas Markle Sr., the estranged father of the Duchess of Sussex, who lived in Cebu until earlier this year, as GMA News and the Guardian have reported. No charges have been filed and the allegations are unproven. Child protection is serious business, and nobody connected with this story makes light of it; the jokes are about a property market and nothing else. Mr. Kulkarni-Menon was firm that the society’s circular “concerns lifts, parking and water tanks, and has no bearing on anyone’s character.”
The Circular, Point by Point
- The resident shall submit a No Objection Certificate, signed by the Chairman, the Secretary and the Treasurer, who are not on speaking terms.
- Two references are required, one from a neighbour on the same floor and one from a neighbour on a different floor who has never complained.
- The resident shall furnish a utility bill, a society maintenance receipt and a clean chit from the watchman.
- A letter from a vicar, a pandit, a maulvi or a family doctor shall be accepted, in that order of preference, which is none.
- The sea shall not be discussed in the society WhatsApp group, as it did nothing wrong and has already been discussed enough.
Residents received the circular with the usual dignity. Mrs. Sharada Iyer, 72, of the fourth floor, said she was delighted. “Finally, a form for leaving. We have a form for everything else.” Mr. Dinesh Patel of the second floor said he would apply for the NOC, then confessed he had no plans to move to Cebu. “I just want to see if they will give it,” he said.
The Watchman’s Verdict
The building’s watchman, Bahadur, was asked to provide his own reference. He said the society’s chairman was “mostly fine.” He added that Cebu’s guards, according to what he had read, were reading newspapers aloud in empty lobbies. “I do that also,” he said. “In the afternoon, to the pigeons.”
The society’s treasurer has proposed a fee of Rs 5,000 for each reference, “to cover stamp paper and mild emotional damage.” The committee voted 6-5 in favour and then adjourned for tea, which was cold. Several members said this made them feel closer to the Mactan broker.
British Retirees Take the Hint
The British, meanwhile, have long done this sort of thing. A visiting retiree from Basingstoke, who was in Powai to see an old friend, produced a letter from his vicar and a sandwich box. The committee studied both with great seriousness. Mr. Kulkarni-Menon, after a long silence, said the sandwich box was “irregular” but the vicar was “acceptable.” The retiree sighed with relief.
The circular has since been copied by three other societies in Powai, two in Andheri and, according to rumour, a gurdwara committee in Delhi. The sea, as always, was not consulted.
Aftermath
By evening, the society’s WhatsApp group had 212 messages, 41 of which were forwards, 17 of which were blessings and four of which were about Cebu. A retired bank manager posted a long essay entitled “The Sea Did Nothing Wrong: A Reflection on Maintenance Dues.” It was read by everyone and agreed with by none.
The Facts Behind the Mood
The market itself is in good health. Colliers named the Visayas and Mindanao a key property investment hotspot in July, and under the Condominium Act foreigners may own units but not land, capped at 40 percent of a project. Retirees can read up at the Philippine Retirement Authority. The nerves are psychological: Tversky and Kahneman’s availability heuristic says one vivid image outweighs a ledger of statistics, and a Mactan broker alone with three brochures and a cold coffee is a vivid image. Every Indian family that has ever asked “what will people say” understands this perfectly.
The wider story is at prat.uk and bohiney.com; for how Indian humour sits beside the British kind, read this guide to Indian humour, and for the weekly British roasting of anything with a form, try The Daily Mash.
SOURCE: https://bohiney.com/cebu-realtor-cant-sell-beachfront-listings/