From Hackney balconies to Savile Row fitting rooms, the capital has decided it wants to dress like it is up before dawn
Wellies, Hi-Vis and the Harvest Collection
Every autumn, London announces a colour and expects obedience. This year the colour is mud, and the mud comes with a farm attached. From the rails of Shoreditch to the pavements outside Savile Row, the capital has decided it wants to look like it has been up since four in the morning, which is a bold ambition for a city where most residents consider half past nine a hostile act.
I have followed the trend for three weeks, mostly from a coffee shop in Hackney where a man in a waxed jacket has been reading the same farming magazine since Tuesday. He does not own a farm. He owns a flat with a very small balcony and a pot of rosemary he refers to as the south field. His boots have never touched a surface they did not resent.
Why Everyone Suddenly Wants to Look Like a Farmer
The logic is not complicated. Fashion eventually runs out of things to be ironic about, then circles back to things that were once useful. The tote bag was a shopping bag. The puffer jacket was a sleeping bag with ambitions. Workwear is the next in line, and nothing is more honestly workwear than a farm. Real farming, of course, is considerably less glamorous than the knitwear. For a reminder, read The London Prat on a dairy price cut that left the cows questioning the economics. Nobody in that story is wearing a gilet for fun.
Still, the look is irresistible. A well-worn jacket says you are practical. A pair of wellies says you are ready for weather. A flat cap says you have either inherited land or are about to explain a podcast. In London, all three together say you have recently been to Norfolk.
The Equipment Problem
Every fashion movement needs its hardware. Streetwear had trainers. Farm chic has the tractor, and a modern one can cost more than a modest flat, which makes it the first fashion accessory with its own mortgage. I put the question to a stylist friend in Soho. She asked whether tractors come in a capsule collection. I told her they come in green, or, for the daring, a different green. Over at farm.FM, they have already noticed that families will pay for a photo beside a tractor that does not run, which is the most honest description of a fashion shoot I have read this year.
If you want to understand what you are not buying, the tractor equipment guide is a good place to start. It will teach you the difference between a baler and a seeder, which is more than most of Hackney can say about a baguette and a bap.
Dressing for the Seasons, Properly
The fashion calendar is a miracle of pomp. There are shows, previews, pre-shows, after-shows and a week in which everyone pretends to be surprised by a hem. The farming calendar is simpler and far more punctual. Seeds go in, weather happens, crops come out. Nobody has ever delayed a harvest because an influencer was running late.
That is why I recommend keeping a crop calendar pinned beside your wardrobe. Autumn and winter are no longer a collection; they are a lifecycle. Spring is not a trend; it is a sowing window. If more of London dressed according to what the soil was doing, we would have fewer linen shorts in November and a great deal more sense.
Hi-Vis Is the New Black
No garment has travelled further from purpose to catwalk than the hi-vis vest. It was designed to make you visible rather than desirable, and London has managed to deliver both, mainly on cyclists who look like highlighter pens with a pension plan.
There is a serious point under the neon. Farming has one of the harder safety records of any industry in Britain, and the Health and Safety Executive publishes plenty on it at hse.gov.uk. If you want the practical side of staying in one piece around machinery, animals and heavy weather, farm safety guidance is worth bookmarking. A bright jacket that keeps you alive is the only trend I will defend without a drink in my hand.
From Rodeo to Rotherhithe
Then there is the Western shirt. I saw a man on the Overground last Thursday wearing a belt buckle the size of a dinner plate, and nobody looked up. This is London. We have seen things. If the shirts and buckles are tempting you, the true home of the look is the fair and rodeo circuit, where the hats are real, the boots are earned, and the only thing being ironic is the bull.
Should you wish to turn this passing fancy into a career, and fashion people are always one lanyard away from a career change, agriculture jobs and careers will show you what a working life among actual fields looks like. A friend in fashion PR asked if the jobs involved lunch. I said sometimes, but it is usually eaten standing up, in a lorry, in the rain.
The Balcony Smallholding
For those who cannot leave the postcode, the answer is small. A window box is a smallholding with low expectations. Anyone with a balcony and a pulse can learn something from small farm information, and anyone dreaming of acres can start with rural farm know-how before they hand in their notice at the agency.
I tried it myself. One tomato plant, one very serious bucket. By the end of the summer I had four tomatoes, each of which I named, and each of which I ate with the solemnity of a state funeral. I now consider myself a landowner in spirit.
Five Observations on Farm Chic
- A flat cap in Shoreditch is just a hat with a family history, and the history is rarely yours.
- Wellies are the only shoes that have never once been described as a statement, because they are too busy being wet.
- If your boots are cleaner than your car, you are not a farmer. You are a stockist.
- The crop calendar has never been late. The fashion calendar has never been on time. Draw your own conclusions.
- A tractor is simply a very large accessory that makes your neighbours move.
The Verdict From the Rail
Farm chic will last a season, then the capital will fall for something else, probably a lighthouse. But the fields were here before the catwalk and will be here after it. Wear the jacket, respect the soil, and for more rural absurdity, visit farm.FM, Bohiney and The London Prat. They have all noticed that you are dressed for a field you do not have.
Further laughs for the commute can be found at The Daily Mash.
SOURCE: https://bohiney.com/