Studies of personality and physical traits find that people’s past and current partners tend to resemble each other, with extraverts and open-minded people showing the least consistency
The Science Of A Type
Most people have heard a friend say it, often with a sigh: I always go for the same kind of person. Is that just a story we tell ourselves, or do people really have a romantic type? A growing body of research suggests that the pattern is real. Dr Justin Lehmiller, a social psychologist and research fellow at the Kinsey Institute, reviewed the evidence in an August 2026 post on his Sex and Psychology blog, what science says about our dating preferences and tendencies.
Personality: Exes Look Alike
One key study, published in the Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences by researchers at the University of Toronto, drew on a nine-year longitudinal study of a nationally representative German sample. The researchers focused on 332 adults, 159 men and 173 women, who had different romantic partners during that period. Participants and their partners completed a standard Big Five personality questionnaire, which measures openness, conscientiousness, extraversion, agreeableness and neuroticism.
The findings were striking. People’s former and current partners tended to have similar personality profiles. Importantly, this similarity went beyond the familiar tendency to choose partners who resemble ourselves. People appeared to be drawn to a particular personality profile in others, independent of their own.
Who Breaks The Pattern
Not everyone showed the same consistency. Two traits were associated with less consistency in partner type: extraversion and openness to experience. Lehmiller suggests plausible explanations. Extraverts tend to meet a wider range of people, giving them more varied opportunities. People high in openness are more willing to experiment, including in their choice of partners.
Physical Types Too
A separate study published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology examined physical characteristics. It found that people’s past partners clustered on traits such as attractiveness and masculinity more than would be expected by chance. In other words, physical types appear to be real as well, not just personality preferences.
Is Having A Type Good Or Bad
The research raises an obvious question: does having a type help or hurt? Lehmiller notes that the answer is not yet clear. On one hand, knowing what you are drawn to can streamline dating, helping people focus on partners who match their preferences. On the other hand, a strong type could lead people to overlook potential partners who do not fit the pattern but might make excellent matches.
There is also a darker possibility that relationship therapists often discuss. If someone repeatedly chooses partners with traits that contributed to past relationship difficulties, recognizing that pattern can be a useful step toward making different choices. The research does not tell us whether a type is healthy or unhealthy in any individual case. It simply shows that patterns exist and are worth noticing.
Implications For Dating Apps
Lehmiller also points to a practical application. If people’s past partners share predictable characteristics, that information could potentially improve matchmaking and online dating recommendations. Dating platforms already use data about who users like and message to refine suggestions. Research on personality and physical types could add another layer. But whether such tailored matching actually leads to stronger, longer-lasting relationships remains an open question. Matching people with their type might reinforce patterns that are not always in their interest.
A European Context
It is worth noting that the personality study drew on a German sample, which makes it particularly relevant for European readers. Large longitudinal panels in Germany and other European countries have become valuable resources for relationship research, allowing scientists to follow the same people over many years and observe how their partnerships change. Findings from such studies may not apply equally across cultures, and more cross-cultural research would help clarify how universal partner types are.
Some researchers have also linked partner types to early experiences and attachment styles, the patterns of relating to others that form in childhood and shape adult relationships. Someone with an anxious attachment style, for instance, may be repeatedly drawn to partners who are emotionally distant, recreating a familiar dynamic. These links are still being studied, but they suggest that our types may reflect more than simple taste.
What You Can Do With This
For individuals, the research offers a gentle invitation to reflect. Think about your past partners. Do they share personality traits, physical characteristics or ways of relating? If so, have those patterns served you well? Some people may find their type has led to happy, compatible relationships. Others may notice recurring difficulties. Either way, awareness is useful.
If you are dating and finding that the same issues keep arising, it may be worth deliberately broadening your search, giving a chance to someone who does not fit your usual profile. Openness, after all, is the trait associated with breaking the pattern. A therapist or counsellor can also help explore why certain types appeal and whether those preferences reflect what you truly want in a long-term partner.
The Bigger Picture
Romantic attraction often feels mysterious and spontaneous. The research suggests that it is also, to a surprising degree, predictable. That does not make love any less meaningful. It simply means that our choices are shaped by stable preferences we may not fully recognize. As Lehmiller notes, more research is needed to understand when having a type is beneficial and when it is limiting. In the meantime, knowing that the pattern exists gives us the chance to choose more consciously, whether that means embracing our type or deciding it is time to try something new.