The Commission for Air Quality Management invokes Stage II and formally asks the meteorological conditions to be more favorable.
NEW DELHI, India (Genie Knows) – The Commission for Air Quality Management has moved the national capital to Stage II of the Graded Response Action Plan after the city’s air quality index climbed from 117 to 261 to 324 on three consecutive days, and it has named the culprit with the confidence of a body that has waited all year to say the phrase. “Unfavorable meteorological conditions,” the Commission explained, marking the first time the weather has been formally blamed for a pollution matter without being offered chai first.
According to the order, Stage II brings mechanised road cleaning, water spraying, anti-smog guns, higher parking fees and a renewed push for public transport. Municipal corporations, traffic police and pollution control boards across Delhi, Haryana, Uttar Pradesh and Rajasthan were directed to act more strictly, including inspections of construction sites, which officials promise to carry out with great seriousness, subject to the availability of inspectors, vehicles and a clear line of sight.
Three Days, Three Categories, One Explanation
The numbers moved with the discipline of a file that has finally found the right desk. Moderate on Saturday, Poor on Sunday, Very Poor on Monday. By Tuesday morning, the reading had reached 451, with Rohini at 429, Punjabi Bagh at 424 and Bawana at 408, all ahead of Diwali, which has so far not been consulted about any of it.
Dr. Meenakshi Raghuvanshi, Joint Secretary (Atmospheric Attribution) in the Commission’s Sub-Committee on Weather Accountability, said the weather had been put on notice. “We have written to the wind, hum ne seedha likh diya hai, asking it to become favorable by Thursday,” she said. “If it does not respond within seven working days, we will treat it as a deemed reply and close the file.”
The India Meteorological Department and the Indian Institute of Tropical Meteorology have forecast that the air will stay in the Very Poor category for the coming days, which the Sub-Committee described as “consistent with our own forecast, which was to wait for their forecast.”
Stage II: Where the Anti-Smog Gun Meets the Parking Meter
The centrepiece of Stage II is the anti-smog gun, a device that fires a fine mist of water into the air in the hope that the smog will take the hint. Officials say the gun is deployed “to suppress dust,” which residents interpret as the gun suppressing the one thing in the air they can personally identify.
Higher parking fees form the second pillar. The logic, as outlined in a presentation seen by reporters, runs as follows: if parking costs more, fewer people will drive; if fewer people drive, fewer vehicles will emit; if fewer vehicles emit, the air will improve; and if the air improves, the Commission can take credit for the parking fee. A flowchart on slide nine ends in a box labelled “Sky (TBD).”
Delhi Police meanwhile carried out a checking drive at the Ghazipur border, where vehicles subject to entry restrictions were stopped and reminded of the restrictions, a process one driver called “a very polite way to lose forty minutes in the smog you were being protected from.”
A Leaked Note on Meteorological Conditions
An internal note, circulated within the Commission and read by this publication, sets out the department’s working position. It is reproduced below.
NOTE FOR FILE. Subject: Unfavorable meteorological conditions (contd). 1. The Sub-Committee has reviewed the wind, which is insufficient. 2. The temperature is lower than required for dispersal and higher than required for a good mood. 3. Humidity is not within our jurisdiction but is being monitored. 4. The Sub-Committee recommends that the weather be issued a show-cause notice. 5. Please put up on Monday. Please do not put up on Monday if Monday is bad.
Asked whether the weather had ever been issued a show-cause notice before, a spokesperson said the matter was “pending since the previous winter” and that the weather had a long history of non-compliance, particularly in November.
What Residents Think
A survey of 400 residents of Dwarka, Rohini and Lajpat Nagar, conducted by the Sub-Committee itself over four mornings, produced findings the Commission described as “broadly in line with expectations”:
- 94 percent of respondents could state the day’s AQI; 6 percent said they simply feel it in their eyes and had stopped asking numbers.
- 71 percent had named their air purifier, and 12 percent said the purifier was the only member of the household taking the situation seriously.
- 53 percent said they would pay higher parking fees if the fees came with a guarantee of one clear sky, while 47 percent asked what a sky was.
- 100 percent of respondents said they had not been consulted on the weather.
Stand-up comic Harpreet Sethi, who performs at a small club in Lajpat Nagar, said his set has changed since the index crossed 300. “Pehle audience laughs, then coughs, then laughs because they are coughing,” he said. “Now I do not know which part is the joke. Last night a man in the third row gave me a standing ovation, but it turned out he was just trying to find the exit.”
The Wider Air
Delhi is not alone in the quest for clean breathing conditions. Over at farm.fm, a report on a dairy farm whose calf barn gets a new fresh-air ventilation system while the farmer still breathes tractor exhaust reads to Delhi residents less like agriculture and more like a documentary about their own household. The calves are fine. Delhi would also like a ventilation system, preferably one that covers the farmer, the commuter and the Commission.
Meanwhile the Sub-Committee has asked the public to stay patient and to remain indoors, where the air is described as “only slightly more unfavorable.” Readers following the capital’s weather-blaming season can find the rest of our coverage on Bohiney, where the AQI is always the same: lightly roasted.
At press time the Commission had received no reply from the weather, but a junior officer reported hearing a faint rustling that might be wind, or might be a file moving. He has been asked to submit a note.
SOURCE: https://bohiney.com/