Desert surf developers say they can give the Championship Tour everything the Gulf did, plus pickleball and a much shorter drive from Irvine.
PALM DESERT, United States (Surfing.LA) – A coalition of Coachella Valley wave pool operators, golf resort executives and one man who owns a very large inflatable flamingo has formally offered to host the Championship Tour’s missing wave pool event, arguing that the desert outside Palm Springs is “basically Abu Dhabi, but with a date shake stand on every corner and much better freeway signage.”
The pitch follows the World Surf League’s decision to scrap the Surf Abu Dhabi Pro from this season’s calendar. The league cited persistent constraints on international flights and the regional situation, which it said made staging the event unfeasible, and WSL CEO Ryan Crosby called the call “a difficult decision, but the right one at this time.” According to The Inertia, the Philippines Pro at Cloud 9 took over the vacated slot, and the league said it valued its partnership with Surf Abu Dhabi and looked forward to returning.
The Coachella Valley Desert Wave Coalition heard all of that and, according to its chairman, Brent Vollmer-Sanchez, “heard opportunity.” The coalition’s 38-slide presentation, a copy of which was obtained by Surfing.LA, was emailed to the league at 2:14 a.m. and again at 2:16 a.m. “in case the first one looked desperate.”
A Wave Pool Nearly 100 Miles From the Sea
The centerpiece of the pitch is DSRT Surf, the Palm Desert project at the Desert Willow Golf Resort. Islands reported that the development is built around a 5.5-acre Wavegarden Cove pool producing up to 1,000 waves per hour, set nearly 100 miles from the coast, with plans for a boutique hotel, villas, a pump track, a spa and pickleball courts. The coalition highlights that last item on slide four in a font size its own designer described as “aggressive.”
“The ocean has been the surf industry’s preferred vendor for too long,” Vollmer-Sanchez said at a press conference held inside a cabana. “It is unreliable, it does not return calls, and it has no loyalty program. We have a loyalty program. We have three.”
The deck also promotes the Palm Springs Surf Club, which ABC7 reported occupies the former Wet N’ Wild waterpark and can produce waves from about 2 feet to 7.5 feet roughly every seven seconds, alongside a lazy river, three bars and two restaurants. Slide eleven, titled “Hospitality,” consists entirely of a photograph of the lazy river with the caption “Imagine The Post-Heat Interviews.”
What the Desert Is Offering
The coalition’s term sheet, circulated to valley hotel owners for comment, lists the following inducements for the league:
COACHELLA VALLEY DESERT WAVE COALITION – PRELIMINARY OFFER TO THE WORLD SURF LEAGUE. One: A guaranteed swell forecast of “yes,” available every day of the waiting period. Two: Complimentary golf for all judges, to be played only after the final heat and only on the course farthest from the pool so nobody hears anything. Three: A dedicated pickleball court for any surfer eliminated in round one, to process feelings. Four: Sunscreen. A great deal of sunscreen. Five: A written promise that no wave will ever be “too crowded,” because every wave will be booked in advance, paid for in full and accompanied by a waiver.
Critics have raised concerns about the heat. Summer daytime temperatures in the valley routinely pass 110 degrees, a problem the coalition addresses on slide 22 with a single bullet point reading “Night heats?” next to a clip art moon.
Local stand-up comic Rosalind Achterberg, who performs at a supper club in Rancho Mirage, said the pitch made perfect sense to anyone who lives there. “The desert already convinced people to golf on lush grass in a place where grass would rather die,” Achterberg said. “Of course they think they can do the ocean. Next year they will pitch a ski resort. The year after that, a glacier with valet.”
The Judges’ Chair Problem
Not every part of the plan has survived internal review. A leaked operations checklist shows the coalition budgeted heavily for wave machinery, LED leaderboards and a rooftop broadcast booth, but allocated only 40 dollars for seating in the judging tower. One coalition member compared the situation to a dairy farm that gets a million-dollar milking parlor while the farmer keeps sitting on a broken chair, a comparison the coalition has since asked members to stop making in writing.
Vollmer-Sanchez insisted the seating would be addressed. “We are a luxury destination,” he said. “Our judges will have the finest chairs available within the remaining budget, which, after the LED wall, is a nice stool.”
A survey of 300 Orange County surfers conducted by the Inland Empire Institute for Coastal Envy found that 64 percent would drive to the desert to watch a Championship Tour event, 22 percent would make the trip only if the event came with a buffet, and 14 percent asked whether the desert was “the one past Corona or the one past Temecula.” Researchers said both answers were technically correct.
Comic Desmond Achebe-Lowry, who hosts a weekly showcase at a Cathedral City bowling alley, said the survey undersold the region’s appeal. “Orange County people will drive two hours to anything that has a wristband,” he said. “Put a wristband on the desert and they will be here by Thursday, complaining about the wind.”
Waiting for the League to Write Back
The offer has been noticed beyond the valley. Editors at Bohiney, the humor site at bohiney.com, described the 38-slide deck as “the first serious attempt to replace a coastline with a cabana.” Coalition members took that as praise and have added it to slide one.
The league has not publicly responded. Coalition staff say they are encouraged anyway, because the email-tracking software they installed shows the attachment was opened twice, once for four seconds and once for eleven minutes. The coalition has interpreted the eleven-minute view as “deep consideration.” Its own interns privately believe someone left the file open and went to lunch.
Until a reply arrives, the coalition says it will keep the pools running and the lazy river circulating, and will keep rehearsing its opening ceremony, which features a drone show, a mariachi band and the giant inflatable flamingo, lowered slowly onto the water by crane to signify, according to the printed program, “the end of the ocean’s monopoly.”
SOURCE: https://bohiney.com/