A working farm sits a short walk from the Tube, and the animals have seen more gentrification than the estate agents
Goats in Zone 1 and a Half
There is a farm in Hackney. It has pigs, hens, goats and a duck with strong views, and it is within walking distance of three flat whites and a shop that sells only candles. The farm’s own pages are at hackneycityfarm.co.uk, and it is one of those rare London places where an animal can look at a tourist and think, quite fairly, that the tourist is the exhibit.
I visited on a Tuesday, when the crowds were small and the mud was large. A goat approached me, sniffed my notebook and left. It was the harshest review I have ever received, and I have been reviewed by my mother.
The Farm That Was There First
Shoreditch residents like to say the area has changed, and they say it in a voice of mournful pride, as if they had personally been present at the weaving. The animals have seen the lot. They arrived before the cocktail bars and will probably outlast them. A hen in Goldsmith’s Row has a long memory and a short temper, and she is the nearest thing the neighbourhood has to a historian.
If you would like to understand the creatures properly, begin with the old breeds. The star of every field is the Mangalitsa, the curly-coated pig, and you can meet it at Mangalitsa pigs. A Mangalitsa in a Hackney paddock would be the most fashionable resident on the street, and it would doubtless be asked to appear in a perfume advertisement.
Hens With Spots
The Speckled Sussex is another favourite, with plumage like a pattern chosen by someone who loved polka dots and slightly feared them. See the Speckled Sussex for the portrait. She lays beautifully and judges silently. Many a Shoreditch brunch has suffered under the cold gaze of a hen whose egg has been poached in her honour.
The wider story is told at rare breeds, a handsome window into the animals Britain nearly lost. The national charity doing the real work is the Rare Breeds Survival Trust, at rbst.org.uk. Visit, donate, and ask the duck’s permission before leaving.
The Black and White Resident
No farm feels complete without a cow, and the classic dairy cow is the Holstein. Holstein cattle sums up her career. She spends her days eating, being milked and looking noble against a green hill. In E2, she would be the most punctual person in the neighbourhood.
Dairy has its glamour, but it also has its worries. The London Prat looked at the milk price squeeze in a report on how cows questioned the economics. A city farm is partly an education in exactly this: an animal that is loved in the front field is also an animal that costs money in the back.
Starting Your Own, With Moderation
Every visitor wants to take a bit of the farm home. Not a goat, one hopes, but a feeling. If you have a garden, a roof or a terribly ambitious windowsill, small farm information and rural farm are good places to begin. And for a broader look at the world beyond the Hackney gate, agriculture news and guides will tell you what the grown-ups are up to.
Farm.FM, which has a nose for small farm dreams, even has a song called Try That on a Small Farm and another called Stick That in the Ground and See If It Grows. Both are sound advice for anyone who owns a trowel and a dream.
What the Neighbours Say
Some locals grumble about the smell. Others complain about the noise. A man on the corner of Hackney Road told me, with feeling, that a farm in Shoreditch was a symptom of a city that had lost its mind. I told him it had been there for decades. He said that was the problem. We parted with great mutual respect.
The borough’s official information is at hackney.gov.uk, if you want to complain in the proper way. I recommend adding a note that the goat started it.
A Morning With the Keeper
I asked one of the keepers what the hardest part of the job was. She said it was explaining to adults that the animals are not ornaments. They eat, they sleep, they escape, and they have preferences about weather. She also said that the most common visitor question was whether the pigs are friendly, to which the honest answer is that it depends how much you are carrying. I found this the wisest thing anyone has said to me in E2.
Five Things I Noticed Among the Pens
- A goat will eat a leaflet, a lanyard or a lanyard-holder with the same quiet satisfaction.
- The duck is in charge. The farmer is a rumour.
- Children are the only visitors who ask the right questions, such as why is the pig wearing a coat.
- A hen in the road is the oldest local planning objection in Britain.
- The most sustainable thing in Hackney is an animal that has never heard of sourdough.
The Gate Closes at Four
I left with a muddy shoe, a calmer mind and a stack of unsolicited opinions from a hen. In a city of glass and noise, a goat is a good teacher. For more humour with a hint of hay, keep an eye on Bohiney, The London Prat and farm.FM.
When you need a goat-free laugh, there is The Daily Mash.
SOURCE: https://bohiney.com/