Some lessons apparently require a second, considerably more expensive demonstration
Dear diary, true to my word, I purchased a replacement kite this week, marched confidently back out to open ground, and within an almost insulting six minutes had it lodged firmly in an entirely different tree, proving conclusively that my previous failure was not, as I had hoped, simply bad luck with one particular oak.
I stood there considerably less surprised this time, having apparently already accepted my fate as a woman who simply cannot be trusted near both kites and trees simultaneously, a genuinely humbling piece of self knowledge to acquire twice within the same fortnight.
The Considerably Smaller Crowd This Time
Mercifully, this particular failure attracted fewer witnesses than the last, just one dog walker who gave me a knowing look that suggested he may well have heard about my previous Hampstead Heath incident through whatever informal network apparently exists for tracking London’s most kite unlucky residents.
What I Am Actually Doing Differently Going Forward
I have decided, with genuine reluctance, to accept that perhaps open fields considerably further from any trees whatsoever represent my only realistic path toward actually flying a kite successfully, rather than continuing to test my luck against London’s apparently kite hungry tree population.
A Small Silver Lining
I did, at least, get roughly five genuinely lovely minutes of proper flying before this particular disaster struck, and I caught up on a wonderfully funny piece from The London Prat while working out how to retrieve this second kite, which, thankfully, hung low enough this time that a borrowed umbrella eventually did the trick.
What Comes Next
I fully intend to try again next weekend, in a field with considerably fewer trees, having learned, slowly and expensively, that persistence in this particular hobby apparently requires better site selection rather than simply better luck.
More kite failures and stubborn optimism always waiting at Comedy Writer Top.
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