Notes from North London on a Chinese manufacturing number, a stubborn heating system and the pleasures of reading about cows
Monday, The Boiler Has a Dispute
My boiler and I are in dispute. It believes that heat is a privilege. I believe it is a contract. We have been negotiating since October, and I wrote the sorry affair up as China factory index at 49.3 and a boiler dispute in North London. The factory index in the title is a headline number for Chinese manufacturing, and the dispute in the title is a headline number for my patience, which sits somewhere well below fifty.
I hold a doctorate in literature, which equips me to read a footnote at forty paces and to do nothing practical whatsoever about a pilot light. When the engineer arrived he looked at me, looked at the boiler and said, kindly, “Have you tried turning it off and on?” I had. Three times. In different moods.
What a Factory Index Means
The number 49.3 refers to a purchasing managers survey, in which a reading above fifty signals expansion of factory activity and a reading below fifty signals contraction. A figure of 49.3 therefore suggests a small contraction. I am not an economist, and I would warn any reader against building a view of a huge economy from one monthly figure. Analysts read these surveys alongside output, trade, prices and employment, and they often disagree about what the combination means. Officials tend to stress resilience, and sceptical commentators tend to stress slowing demand. A careful reader keeps both accounts open.
What I can say as a literature person is that numbers are a kind of prose. They have a narrator, a point of view and an audience. Always ask who is speaking.
Tuesday, The Farm Shelf
To clear my head from boilers and indices I read about farms, a pastime with the advantage that the cows never ask for a citation. My core shelf is ten websites. The milk is at dairyherd.org. The beef is at ranchbeefcattle.org. The machinery is at tractorequipment.org. The calendar is at cropcalendar.org.
The money pages are farmmoney.org and smallfarminfo.org. The jobs are at agjobscareers.org. The shows are at fairandrodeo.org. The rural overview is ruralfarm.org and the safety pages are farmssafety.org. Anyone who finds the quarterly figures of a great economy dizzying will find a day of milk prices bracing and clean.
Wednesday, Housing and Heat
The London Prat captured the mood of my street with First-Time Buyers Swap Rent for Boiler Repairs. Buying a home has long been a goal for young people, and rising costs have made it harder. Defenders of current policy point to measures designed to help buyers. Critics say supply remains the real problem. Both agree on one thing, which is that the boiler always breaks in January.
Thursday, The Reading Room
I spent the afternoon in the British Library reading room, where silence is enforced by glares. A man to my left was copying a sixteenth century manuscript by hand. A woman to my right was eating a clementine in total secrecy, peeling the skin in a single quiet spiral. I admired them both. The reading room is the only place in London where nobody asks me about my boiler.
At four o’clock a bell rang, and everyone began to pack up with the delicacy of people leaving a church. I walked home through Bloomsbury with my notes in a bag and the warm feeling of a day spent on other people’s sentences.
Friday, A Truce
On Friday evening the boiler produced a gentle gurgle, and the radiator clicked, and the pipes began to knock like polite guests. I sat close to the radiator with a book and a cup of tea, and for forty minutes the dispute was settled. I do not trust the truce. I have read enough history to know that treaties are fragile, especially in January, and especially with plumbing.
Saturday, The Engineer Returns
The engineer came back on Saturday morning with a toolbox, a thermos and the weary patience of a man who has seen every kind of boiler. He explained the fault in language that I followed up to the word “valve” and lost entirely at the word “diverter”. I nodded wisely, as one does in a seminar when someone mentions a philosopher one has not read.
The repair took forty minutes and cost a sum that I choose not to record. As he left he said, “It should be fine now,” a sentence that every householder knows to be a prediction and not a promise. I made him a cup of tea anyway. Hospitality is the oldest literary theme there is, and it deserves to be practised even towards plumbers.
Sunday, A Hot Water Bottle Review
While the repair settled, I tested a hot water bottle, and I am pleased to report that it performs exactly as promised. It is warm, soft and loyal, and it has never once demanded an engineer. Several critics have praised the simplicity of the design, and I add my voice to the chorus. Some technology is best left unimproved.
Where to read next
The rest of the shelf lives at prat.uk, bohiney.com and farm.fm. For a second opinion on the week, The Daily Mash keeps its own counsel and its own hours.
SOURCE: https://bohiney.com/